[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[KISSING]
I love you.
And I love you.
Always and forever.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Are you expecting a call? - No.
Should we answer that?
You mean you want me to answer it?
[BOTH LAUGH, RINGING CONTINUES]
It's probably the front desk.
Oh, maybe there was a problem with your credit card.
I doubt it, Mr. Camden.
No one knows we're here, Mrs. Camden.
I love the sound of that.
So answer the phone already.
[CHUCKLES]
Mr. and Mrs. Matt Camden.
- Hello? RUTHIE: I don't believe it.
- You really are stupider than Mary. - Ruthie?
You got married?
Shh!
Don't you shush me.
I just missed your wedding, and I don't even know the bride.
Ruthie, where are you?
I'm in the kitchen.
But don't worry, the rest of them are sound asleep.
Ruthie, please, you can't say anything.
You have to let me tell them, promise me.
And what do I get if I keep this a secret?
We'll name our first born after you.
Not unless she's dead.
Jewish custom.
I don't know. This is big.
And they already suspect.
How did you find me?
It's Glenoak, it's not New York.
And I'm smarter than you. So who's my new sister-in-law?
Her name is Sarah.
And look, you get off the phone before someone overhears something.
Hey, you're hardly in any position to be bossing me around.
Ruthie, I love you, and I know you.
You won't tell anyone because you know how important this is to me.
Good night, Ruthie. I'll see you tomorrow?
Good night.
- And Matt? - Yeah, Ruthie?
I love you too. Congratulations.
[PHONE BEEPS]
[EXHALES]
Everything's gonna be fine, don't worry.
[LAUGHING]
And if everything's not fine?
Well, I'll still be here for you.
I'll always be here for you, Mrs. Camden.
[BARKS]
[TWINS BABBLING]
Thank you, sweetie.
[ANNIE SIGHS]
Okay.
We have got to get our mood up. This is not the first time
- he stayed out all night. - Yes, it is.
No. He stayed out all night when he followed Heather to school on the bus.
But he called first so we wouldn't worry.
Well, that was years ago.
And he wasn't with Heather all night. He was on his way to see Heather.
Again, years ago. He is over 21.
Matt probably thinks he doesn't have to call.
To tell the truth, I don't want him to call
because I'm worried about the call.
I'm sure he's fine.
Just because he stayed out all night doesn't mean he did anything stupid.
They might have fallen asleep together,
but I doubt it's anything more than that.
Matt home?
Sorry. Do you want me to go look for him?
No, I don't want you to go look for him.
Well, I'm gonna get the boys all cleaned up.
And then I'm going to get ready to have a nice, calm, wonderful day.
Come on.
Got any idea about where to look for him?
No, but I could ride around, maybe drive past the hotels in the area.
He wasn't at a hotel.
He better not have been at a hotel
or I really will forbid him from going out with this Sarah again.
[LAUGHS]
I'm sorry, it's just that he's a little old to...
Then again, he does live under your roof.
- Yes, he does. - Of course, he's leaving soon
soon to go off to medical school, and when he does,
you're gonna have a hard time trying to control what he can and can't do.
- You know what, Robbie? - What?
I'm not in a good mood about Matt staying out
so you just watch it, and tell the rest of them to watch it.
[CHUCKLES]
What's your problem?
I'm sorry, really, I'll tell them.
Hey, you two, watch it. He's not in a good mood.
[CHUCKLES]
Have you heard from Matt?
No, but your dad plans to forbid Matt from ever seeing Sarah again
if they spent the night with each other.
And what's he gonna do if they're married?
He's married. You know he's married.
I know he stayed out all night, but none of us know if he's married.
Since when does everyone get up at the crack of dawn?
You know, you guys are really loud, and I was really asleep.
How can you sleep with everything going on?
I'm 15. I sleep. And if you really wanna know where Matt is,
I suggest you ask the keeper of the key to all things knowable.
- Ruthie, where is she? - Well, she's asleep.
Yeah, she was still in bed when we came down.
[SIGHS]
He better get here before I get home from school.
You can only expect so much from me.
[SARAH GIGGLES]
Put her down.
- Inside. - Excuse me, sir.
- Good morning. - Go to your room.
Where's Ma? I have something to tell the two of you.
No, I don't think that you have anything to tell the two of us.
And by the way, that thing you were doing over there,
that better have been a rehearsal, because you, young lady,
are not married, okay?
And you're not gonna be married until you are 30 years old,
and until you fall in love with someone who is a little more like a Jew.
[FOOTSTEPS]
Ma.
Why aren't you dressed?
We have company.
He carried her into the house.
Well, maybe she felt faint. She probably needs to eat.
Darling, I was worried about you. It's not like you to stay out all night.
Tell your father it was car trouble and let Mark go home.
Matt. Matt Camden.
How could I forget such a lovely name?
Not a Jewish name, but very nice.
Mm.
Anyone hungry? You wanna go into the kitchen?
I'm not going anywhere.
And I don't wanna hear anything
that these two stay-out-all-nighters have to say.
I'm gonna shower. I'm gonna eat.
And then I'm gonna say a very long prayer
to turn back the hands of time.
Breakfast. You should eat something.
- Sure. - You're staying?
Ma, we have something to tell you.
After you eat.
When your father finishes his prayers.
Maybe even when his prayers are answered.
How can you see my daughter's beautiful smile
with your hair in your face like that?
Oh.
[SIGHS]
Okay, you know, she suspects, but she's gonna be okay with it.
- Eventually. - And your father?
He suspects, and he's not gonna be okay with it, ever.
You think he'd least be responsible enough to pick up a phone and say:
"Hi, Dad, I'm not coming home tonight.
I'm being a completely irresponsible, uncontrollable, hormonal freak,
who's completely forgotten who he is and how he was raised."
And I'll tell you something else. if those two got married--
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Don't do this, okay?
Don't work yourself up into an emotional frenzy
and then jump all over Matt when he gets home.
He wouldn't have gotten married to a woman he just met.
He may want to get married to a woman he just met,
but he wouldn't do that.
Don't push him away. We only have him a short time longer.
He stayed out all night. He can't just stay out all night.
I'm afraid he can. He just never has.
[SCOFFS]
He was wrong not to call, but, hey, please.
I'm surprised that I'm the one who's upset here.
I just don't wanna be responsible for pushing him into a marriage
that we both know he's not ready for.
Now, if we remain calm, and don't make a big deal out of this,
then he'll be okay.
I know he will.
Ruthie has to be somewhere. She can't have just disappeared.
And the fact that she's nowhere to be found
has to mean she knows something.
Her bike's missing. She's riding her bike.
- Well, get a bike, we'll find her. - Oh.
Not to worry, I can fix the flats.
Help me find the stuff you patch tires with.
You know the stuff.
No, no, no, I don't. I don't know the stuff.
The bicycle tire stuff. Just help me look.
Well, why can't we just take my car?
Right, the car. Let's go.
Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to make your lunch.
You think I could possibly stay home from school today?
Just in case things get interesting around here?
Things are always interesting around here. You've got to go to school.
Come on, Simon. I'll give you a ride if you want.
- Have a nice day. - Yeah.
[SIGHS]
Don't worry.
Regular guys stay out all night all the time. It doesn't mean anything.
He probably wasn't even having, you know...
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that in front of the children.
Come on, we better go.
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hello? - Hello?
Hello?
- Matt. - Oh, Matt.
Hey, I just want to let you know that I'm at Sarah's house,
and I'll be home in a couple hours with Sarah.
I have to go. Love you, bye.
[EXHALES]
This isn't good.
- Hi. - You wanted to tell me something.
I can't believe we can't find her.
Well, she couldn't have ridden her bike very far.
We'll just keep circling the block.
Maybe she's back home.
No way we would have missed her.
Well, drive by the house again anyway.
If we make Mom and Dad aware that we're looking for her,
then they're gonna be looking for her, they're gonna find her,
then they're gonna get the information first.
Do we really care if they get the information?
- We just wanna know, right? - We wanna know first.
Ah.
That's it. Matt.
Let's try to find Matt.
He is not as smart as Ruthie.
We can get the information from him easier than we can get it from her.
Where are we gonna find Matt?
- Are you getting hungry? - Yeah.
We should eat first. That will help us think.
[SIGHS]
Oh, my.
- Look, Matt, here's the big picture-- - Wait for Sarah.
- We promised. - Well, what's taking so long?
I mean, what, does she dress up now to have a conversation?
[SIGHS]
- Were you asking me? - No, I wasn't asking you.
You know why? Because you wouldn't know.
You really know nothing about our Sarah.
Maybe you should go home, Mark. I'll have her call you.
Matt.
Can I speak with Matt outside alone, please?
Wait, Rosina, what is it?
What am I seeing? Is this our daughter?
I mean, you're not acting like our daughter.
Our daughter does not have conversations outside alone.
We'll be right back.
Oh. Ay-ay-ay.
This is really... I-- I-- Mm.
I think she's had a change of heart.
Oh, Rosina, don't go there, please. Come on.
She stayed out all night with a guy she went out with once
and we should be happy?
I don't think so.
- I've changed my mind. - About?
We don't have to tell them today. Why do we have to today?
No matter when we tell them, the truth remains the same.
We're married, Mrs. Camden.
I do love the sound of that.
- I do too. - Mm.
Mm. Thing is,
- you better let me tell them. - Why?
Know the kill-the-messenger routine?
I don't want you to get caught up in that.
- What about you? - They won't kill me, they love me.
They're not really gonna kill me. And we're in this together for life.
Yeah, but I've known them longer than you,
and I can break it to them in a way that will be less painful.
What way will that be?
I have a way of breaking bad news to them that works.
Have you ever had bad news like this to tell in the past?
No, but here's how it works.
I'll tell them some horrible news first,
and then when they're moaning and groaning about that, then I'll say:
"Just kidding, but the good news is, Matt and I just got married."
What are you gonna tell that would be more horrible than you got married?
- I'm pregnant. - Yeah, that would be worse.
- But I don't think you should do that. - Trust me.
I really wanna be with you when you tell them.
That's what we agreed to do, tell your parents, then tell my parents.
Yeah, I was thinking about that too.
New plan. I'll tell my parents my way, and you tell your parents your way.
When they're over the shock, we'll get together, have a nice dinner.
No, I wanna go back in there and tell your mother and father we're married,
and take whatever's coming and get it over with
so we can start our lives together.
[SIGHS]
Okay, but don't say that I didn't warn you that my way is better.
Why don't we compromise?
You tell them however you wanna tell them with me here,
then I'll tell my parents however I wanna tell them with you there.
If it doesn't go well here, I'm gonna have to let you tell your parents alone.
Well, it's not gonna go well.
I agree, so you tell your parents alone.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Where's my father? I have something to tell the two of you.
Upstairs with the sports page.
We may be here a while.
Oh, wait, I know where Ruthie is.
I thought we were looking for Matt.
- What's today? - Monday.
And where does Ruthie go on Mondays?
School.
And, hello, where are we supposed to be on Mondays?
School. Now aren't you happy that we have the same class?
- What are you doing? - Gonna try to work.
I'm working in here.
Doesn't matter. I'm not gonna get anything done.
I think we should just go about our business, act as normal as possible
and then when Matt gets home,
- act as if nothing has happened. - What kind of plan is that?
Well, it's the kind of a plan that's better than any you have.
- You haven't even heard my plan. - Go ahead.
As he walks through that door, I'm gonna tell him
just what I think about his staying out.
I'm gonna tell him that if he got married, he can just have it annulled.
- What good is that going to do? - It's gonna do me a world of good.
[PATTING HAND]
He's over 21. He's an adult.
He's going off to school next year to become a doctor.
He's a good boy-- Man.
And again, we don't know what he was doing out all night,
but we should trust that whatever it was
reflects everything that we have taught him.
Ha! Did we teach him
to stay out all night on a first date with a woman? Did we?
Get out of my kitchen. I'll call you if I see him.
Okay.
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
- Hey, Ruthie, good to see you. - I have no idea.
Did you just ask me where Matt was last night?
- No, I didn't. - Oh, I'm glad, really, really glad.
Because if you did, I might not be able to keep it a secret
for one second longer.
- But I didn't. - I was just saying if you did.
So I won't.
Why not? Don't you wanna know where Matt was?
- You know, I don't think I do. - Why not?
Because it sounds as if I shouldn't know where he was.
I don't like to know things I shouldn't know.
I don't either. Yet, these things just come to me.
And sometimes, I can hardly keep them to myself.
Sometimes they just leak out.
It's a burden, a burden I wanna unload.
I'm no good at keeping secrets. I'm not.
Okay, Ruthie, deep breath.
Now, I happen to know you really can keep a secret.
You're really good at keeping secrets.
Remember that I never found out why you were late to homeroom
when I was principal at Eleanor Roosevelt?
I know you were keeping a secret for a student there,
and I never found out what it was.
I remember, but this is different. This is big.
Just the same.
If you told the secret, could someone get hurt?
Sooner or later, people are gonna know.
And there's gonna be plenty of hurt going around.
Enough for our entire family, and even another one.
Believe me, plenty of hurt.
And do you wanna be responsible for plenty of hurt going around?
- No. - Mm-hm.
You're right, thanks. I'm better now.
But I may need to come and see you later.
Okay.
I think I have something in my ear. I couldn't hear that.
I-- Really, I...
I didn't hear what you said, honey. You're what?
Pregnant.
But, ha, not by Mark, because you just met him.
Is it Kenny's?
[EXHALES]
You're actually hoping I'm pregnant with Kenny's baby?
Who's Kenny?
Until today, he was the man I least liked in the universe.
This isn't quite going like you planned, is it?
Okay, I was kidding. I'm not pregnant.
Now wait a minute. Hold on.
Really, before you speak again, I...
Sarah, I know this game.
This is the crazy
made-up-bad-news-first- followed-by-the-real-bad news game
that never works.
Yes, it does.
So the crazy, made up bad news is you're pregnant.
But the real news
is that you're...
No, don't. Oh, don't let it be.
Oh, please.
We got
engaged last night.
[MOANING]
[MOANS]
Engaged? Ha.
That was quick. That was very quick.
But that's not the worst thing that can happen.
That's the worst thing that can happen.
They could be married.
And they're not married, they're engaged.
And she's not pregnant.
Mazeltov.
[CHUCKLES]
[SARAH CHUCKLES]
- Engaged? - You saw how they were behaving.
I couldn't just tell them we got married.
- They'd think we're nuts. - I think we talked about this.
We talked about how crazy it was, but we did it.
We got married. What are we supposed to do know, get unmarried?
No, we're supposed to go over and tell your parents we're engaged.
It's better than married, let them think we're engaged for a while,
and then we'll tell them the truth.
Yeah, I don't think lying about being married
is a good way to start off a marriage.
It's not good, it's not bad. It's just what is.
All right, all right, it may slightly complicate
an already complicated situation, but we do what we have to do.
And what is it we have to do?
Obviously, we have to lie
until we come up with a new plan for the truth.
[SIGHS]
By then, they'll know you better, they'll love you.
And just give them time.
And how much time?
As much time as they need.
I want my parents to be thrilled when we finally tell them the truth.
And what happens if someone else tells them first?
- No one knows. - Ruthie knows.
I forgot. So she won't tell.
She'll tell, she's 11. She can't keep a secret like this.
- She won't tell. - You don't even know her.
You've never met her. She'll tell.
Here's something you should know.
I come from a long line of worriers.
Worrying in my family goes back so far, you don't wanna know.
I can worry better than you can worry. You let me worry about Ruthie.
- Hi, Dad, I've got homework. - Not so fast.
- How was your day? How was lunch? - Nothing out of the usual.
I forgot my lunch. I had to eat cafeteria food.
Yes, I noticed you forgot your lunch. You left awfully early.
- Yes, I did. - Why?
- Library. - I don't think so.
Okay, I was up, I was ready. I had no place else to go.
Yasmine was going early, so I went early too.
What?
[DOOR OPENS]
- We've been looking for you. - I'm right here.
- Well, where you been? - School.
Yeah, we thought so.
Why were you looking for Ruthie?
We just wanted to give her a ride home, that's all.
And where was I going to sit?
I don't know what they're up to, but they're up to something.
What are you up to?
I'm not gonna lie to you.
I think Ruthie knows something about Matt and his date last night,
and we wanna know what it is.
[DOOR OPENS]
Is Matt home?
No, he's not.
I didn't say anything.
I'm sorry, but really, what are you gonna do?
He stayed out all night. Is it the end of the world?
[KNOCKING ON GLASS]
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
- He's home. - And he's got her with him.
[RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]
Let's go, boys.
Mommy.
- Where have you been? - We have to talk.
It doesn't look like we have time to talk.
- What's going on? - Matt and Sarah are home.
Ruthie ran out. She knows something.
Hi.
[SIGHS]
Maybe we should go into the living room?
[CHUCKLES]
It's nice to see you again, Sarah.
And you too, son.
[MATT SIGHS]
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
[WHIMPERS]
So, Sarah, this is Lucy, and Mary, and Simon,
and Ruthie and that's Robbie.
He's not family, but he's like family.
Funny you should mention family.
Matt tells me you like horses, Ruthie.
Yeah, I like horses.
Unfortunately, I heroed myself out of the private school I was attending
where I could ride horses, but I like horses a lot.
You know, I happen to have a horse.
- What kind of horse? - Brown.
[CHUCKLES]
I was making a joke. I do that when I'm nervous.
So look, when I'm not nervous,
maybe you and I could talk about my horse.
A horse I can't take care of when I go away to Columbia next year.
If I knew you better, I wouldn't think that sounded like a bribe of some sort.
A what?
I think I know you well enough to know what you mean.
Good.
I bet you and I are gonna be friends.
[CHUCKLES]
Ah... What he's trying to say is...
Uh...
We're engaged.
[BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY]
[WHIMPERS]
We went out, we fell in love, we wanted to get married.
I know what you all are thinking. You're thinking this is crazy.
You're thinking that we don't know each other,
and when we get to know each other that we might change our minds,
but we're not gonna change our minds.
I wanna be married to Sarah. And I really am in love with her.
She's a wonderful woman and I'm happy we found each other.
And I've been really lonely.
You know, even in my past relationships,
I felt lonely.
But I don't feel lonely anymore.
Sarah and I have a lot in common, and most of what we have in common
is that we both love our families.
And we wanna be a family,
a family that loves and respects each other
as much as I love and respect all of you.
And I hope you respect our decision, because this is my wife.
And this is what I want.
[IN UNISON] Wife?
[STAMMERS] Wife-to-be.
So, what kind of horse did you say it was?
You're engaged?
- Yes, we are. - Heh.
Then, congratulations, son.
- I'm very happy for you. - Yeah.
Well, this makes everything I've done this year look sane.
ANNIE: Wow. - Ha-ha-ha.
And it's best wishes for the bride until the wedding.
But then, it's congratulations, so welcome to our family.
[CHUCKLES]
I wonder if she knows the history of engagements in this family.
So when's the big day?
We were thinking really soon.
May, June.
This May, June?
Or maybe sooner.
Ever been to a Jewish wedding?
Sarah's father's a rabbi.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm gonna miss you tonight.
I'll miss you too.
[BOTH SIGH]
So, Ruthie, tomorrow, we'll check out Ed?
Sounds good to me.
I'm gonna walk my wife to the door, and then on the way home,
we're gonna have a long talk.
I look forward to it.
Would you just let me get that for you?
RUTHIE: I've got school tomorrow.
You think they're still out there?
Yes.
Ugh.
You sure they're not gonna drive away?
Yes, I'm sure they're not gonna drive away.
[CRYING] But I'm not so sure
they're not married.
You know, I'm not either.
But I'm going with engaged, you know?
[SOBBING]
[SNIFFLING]
It's not that we don't like her.
No, it's not that we don't like her.
- It's just that we don't know her. - We don't know her.
You know, I'm happy for Matt.
I'm sad for me, but I'm happy for Matt.
Yeah, I'm happy for Matt too.
And I'm sad for you.
- Does it have to be a Jewish wedding? - Maybe I can talk to Matt.
Then talk to Matt.
In a way, I--
In a way, I wish they'd gotten married last night.
I didn't wanna...
I didn't wanna say it, but now that you've said it,
I wish they'd gotten married last night too.
Life's funny, isn't it?
Matt's marrying a nice Jewish girl. Who would have thought?
You don't think they really did get married last night?
And maybe they're just telling us they're engaged
to kind of get us used to the idea?
Ha. It's possible.
You know, I like that.
I like that idea a lot.
So I'm going with married. They're already married.
Okay.
[SOBBING]
SIMON: Thanks.
No, problem. I had one too.
You know, I don't think Mom's ever given us cheese for dinner.
You know, not just cheese anyway without the macaroni.
No, that was a first.
But it's understandable.
I mean, Matt did just surprise us with the biggest news of his life.
What makes me think he's lying?
Don't you think they're engaged?
Maybe.
But maybe they stayed out all night.
And they're just saying they got engaged
because they don't wanna just say they stayed out all night.
He sounded really serious.
Yeah, but too serious, you know?
That's why I don't think they got engaged.
I think they got married. They're just giving everyone some time
to get used to the idea before they spring it on us.
I bet you're right.
Do you think they'll still plan a wedding?
Yeah.
And they'll get into all that picking out china,
and flowers and junk, and then one day,
Matt will get sick of doing it and admit they're already married.
Jeremy and I used to do that.
Sit around looking at china patterns, and flowers and junk.
It's okay, Luce.
You'll find the right guy someday. You just weren't ready.
One night, when you least expect it, you'll walk into a room
and there he'll be.
Thanks, Simon. I love you for saying that. Heh.
What do you think?
About what?
Duh. Matt and Sarah.
What about Matt and Sarah?
I still think about marrying you, you know?
[SIGHS, CHUCKLES]
You do?
I know you're in love with Joy.
But when Joy's away, I kind of forget about her.
I know that you don't, but I do.
I love her, Mary.
And you, you guys are like brothers and sisters to me now, you know that.
But I missed out on the times that made you part of our family.
So sometimes, it still feels like you're part of the family
in the way that I intended you to be part of the family.
As my husband.
[CHUCKLES]
Sometimes, I fantasize that we're married,
and we're living with my folks, and working our way through college,
and planning to get jobs, and leave and start a family of our own one day.
[SIGHS]
If you weren't in love with Joy,
would you try going out with me again just for old time's sake,
just to see if we still felt something for each other?
But I am in love with Joy.
And I don't wanna do this "what if" game.
It will only lead to trouble, and I've had enough trouble in my life.
So let's change the subject, please.
Want ads?
Don't tell me you finally ran out of money, and you're going to get a job.
I was thinking about it.
So I guess I'll just make myself that sandwich I came down for.
You never answered my question.
What do you think about Matt and Sarah?
I'm very happy for them. Happy for them both.
Do you think they're engaged for real?
Yeah, they're at least engaged, maybe even married.
Maybe, but I hope not.
You know, I'm kind of looking forward to going to a Jewish wedding.
Maybe I'll even meet a guy.
[CHUCKLES]
[MATT SIGHS]
I knew you weren't sleeping. You don't wanna talk?
Does she really have a horse?
No, wait, why am I asking you?
You don't know her any better than I do.
Well, I know she's an honest person,
so if she says she has a horse, she has a horse.
Wouldn't that be great, if she gave me her horse?
She never said anything about giving you her horse.
She said she'd let you take care of her horse.
For nine years? Because that's how long you two will be in medical school.
Well, the important thing is not whether or not you get a horse,
the important thing is that you don't tell anyone what you know.
I wanna tell the family Sarah and I are married when the time is right.
Is that before or after the second wedding?
They never need to know.
We could just let them think that the day we have the big wedding
is the day we got married for real.
Except for this one little problem.
You.
I'm not the problem.
I can keep this little secret a secret. I promise.
Could you, Ruthie?
Could you keep it a secret that you know we got married last night?
Could you just forget and never say anything?
Because that's a big secret for a little girl to keep for the rest of her life.
And I don't know if I should even ask you.
You can ask me anything, horse or no horse.
You're my brother. And this is a good secret.
The best secret I've ever heard. And we both know I've heard them all.
I can do it.
With God as my witness, I will never ever tell this secret to anyone.
Because I owe it to you for being my big brother for 11 years.
I love you. I respect you.
You have my word of honour. This stays with me.
[CHUCKLES]